by David Phinney
Wednesday April 24th 2024

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Skinned Doberman, Two Beers and Jingle Bells

Season’s greetings! This just came in from Iraq. I like it.

Hey Everybody,
I hope you all are well and happy. Christmas time can be fun and cheerful if you do it right.
I went looking for some christmas lights at the nearest FOB (forward operating base) but the PX there didn’t have any. I found some low voltage lights here, so I’m going to try painting them different colors and hang them outside my caravan (caravan is Iraqi for trailer).
I had planned to have a little Christmas party with some South Africans and Brits at a nearby camp, but four of their people were kidnapped at a fake Iraqi military checkpoint recently, so I don’t think the mood will be very festive. We’ll see.
I once asked them if they like barbeque. They said the last time they bought fresh meat it looked like a skinned doberman. I told them I might have better local contacts and could buy a fat little sheep for 40 dollars, maybe a little more because the local Iraqis know about Christmas and will try a little holiday price gouging.
One way or another I’m going to try and have a little fun on Christmas Eve, even if it’s just me and the Iwackies. Most of them here will believe in any holiday you want if you give them a beer, so maybe I’ll give them 2 beers each and teach them one or two Christmas songs. “Silent Night” might be too complicated, but “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” and “Jingle Bells” might be good candidates. If they are any good I’ll try to get it on tape.
Anyway, I hope you all have a Very Merry Christmas
Yours Truly,
(Somewhere in Iraq)

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