One in Two Americans Running for President, Experts Say
So says The Borowitz Report:

While the negative tone of recent election campaigns have turned off voters in record numbers, the appeal of being the world’s most powerful person has never been greater, causing the two trend lines to cross.

Furthermore:

The fact that over 140 million Americans are expected to run for president in 2008 does not deter most aspirants, Ms. Foyler said, explaining, “Most of them still have a better shot than Kucinich.”

And elsewhere in the news:

The National Security Agency said that a stream of indecipherable chatter it intercepted turned out to be Paula Abdul.